Friday, December 3, 2010

3.12.2010 10:47am

I just wanted to post a couple of things, for keepsake purposes, to remind us both of what was said, because they are important to me.

"Matt Jackson 02 December at 21:34
I tried calling you, but you never answered ='(.
The reason I was calling was because its just killing me to not be able to respond to such important messages. Ill atleast reply to this one here:

You said "I just cant stand not being able to see you or talk to you all the time. Its a separation I dont want or need. If we had been dating in June I would not have even considered this trip. Sometimes I worry that because I cant get to you, you dont exist. Or that youll forget me or realise you only love me when youre with me. I just love you so so much"

Baby, it broke my heart to read this, and that I couldnt reply just rubbed it in. You need to know that you being away from me like this is the hardest thing I've ever been put through, and something that I never want to happen again.

I do exist, look at everything with you that reminds you of me, of us, of our life together so far, and what it will be in the future.

I will NEVER forget you, you are my life, and so to forget you would mean forgetting I existed, because without you it's all pointless.

I will love you always, regardless of whether I have you physically in my arms, or just mentally. I could never stop loving you. You own my heart, and the only way thats going to change is if you throw it back, because I will never be taking it.

I want you back so badly... I think about it every second of every day. I miss every tiny thing about you. Im so aware of how much I love you, and that grows every second of this painful separation.

I need you by my side. You are the pride and glory of my life.

I love you. I always will. You belong with me, and I belong with you.

='( I miss you so so very much..."

And also, lyrics to a song that match just exactly how I feel about Susie. It was a song that was playing in the background of an episode, and it just said exactly what I feel:

"I wanna be with you all the time
Every day
Every night
You're my deja vu

It's sounds obsessive
But I think it's fine
When you're gone all I do is to think of you

I live and love with you
This charming life

I live and love with you
This charming life

You know you came into the room alone
But when you left
Then I found that you took my heart
It sounds so corny yes I know it does
But truth is the shade that I choose to wear

I live and love with you
This charming life

I live and love with you

This charming life

Every government must pass down a law
That says the sun has to always shine
That everybody gets the chance to say

I live and love with you
This charming life

I live and love with you
This charming life

Every morning when I open my eyes
You're the first thing that I see
Lady luck she really took to me

Because
I live and love with you
This charming life

I live and love with you
This charming life"

I love you so much Susie...

Ill make another post later if much happens, but I wanted to put this up because I feel it means a lot.

Ps. I totally thought today was the 4th... That really sucks... Time is going so slowly... 72 Days, 20 Hours, 48 Minutes till my baby gets home ='(

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